"Does the Argument Really Need A Winner? - Pt. 1"

It Gets More Awesome Every Day!

Marriage is one of the most amazing phenomenons in the history of the universe. This is especially true when you have a man & woman with two completely different personalities, backgrounds, family upbringings, conflict resolution styles, relational cultures, races & communication styles. Yet, God loves to bring these types of people together. Why? Besides the fact that He wants to reveal more of Himself to them & through them, I think He just really likes to sit back & laugh... But serious, I think God cracks up when He sees couples growing together, especially when they try to grow in communication!

When I first got married I thought something was seriously wrong with how me & my wife communicated. Don't get me wrong, we had a really great 1st year of marriage, without all the crazy horror stories people shared with me (thank you Jesus!!!). But, WE definitely had a lot of intentional work to put in if we wanted to grow in learning how to communicate in a healthy way (and we are STILL learning).

For those of you who are freaking out

 because of how much you argue

in your 1st year of marriage

here's a little secret,

it's pretty darn normal.

It May Feel Like This,
But It Doesn't Have To Be Like This...

My pastors gave me some super amazing advice that helped a lot, "It's not about how much you fight, it's about fighting well..." Trust me, I told myself this over & over & over.

This is not just true of marriage however, this is true of relationships in many areas such as: work, dating, friendships, sports teams, church, etc. The question is how well do you fight? I'm not talking about how good your arguments are, how hard your verbal punches are (and there should never be physical blows, mercy!), how many good points you can make or how loud you do or don't get... 

When the argument is over, do you love one another more? Do you understand one another better? Do you have a greater appreciation for the heart, values & thoughts of the other person? Or, when the argument is over, do you need some Divine intervention, time to lick your wounds or time apart because you are so angry or frustrated with each other? Do you have to beg for forgiveness because of how loud, hostile & mean you became? Does the "winner" get to hold his or her hands high in victory as the defeated 'opponent' hangs his or her head in shame & emotional defeat?

I mean, someone is supposed to win

the argument right?